Yes, the world stopped for an hour this Tuesday as Apple made it’s annual iPhone announcement. The new iPhone 6, the greatest thing that has ever been built in existence. Wait, hasn’t Apple claimed that throughout every iPhone cycle? I digress. Now, I’m here to tell you to stop! Do NOT buy the iPhone 6!
APPLE THE SEDUCTRESS
I haven’t been this tempted to throw hard earned money out the window in a long time. I’ve even been building up this purchase with my wife by constantly reminding her all summer that the new iPhone 6 will be coming out in September. I bemoaned to her “I oh-so-neeeeeed to upgrade by piddly iPhone 4, from gasp, 2010. Do you know how long ago that was? Ke$ha’s Tik Tok was the top song of 2010. How can I even associate myself with a phone from that era!?”
This is what I was getting ready to do today on the Apple online store:
STOP DROP & MATH
First thing first, do we really need a new iPhone? Since buying my
revolutionary iPhone 4 in 2010, I have seen three even more revolutionary iPhones come and go (4s, 5, and 5s). What makes this one so special? Absolutely nothing! Oh pooh pooh you might point me over here and tell me how great all the new features are. You’ll probably even tell me that the phone is bigger. WHOA! I never knew adding a few inches to a smartphone was considered revolutionary.
Let’s get something straight, if we were to buy the new iPhone 6, there is no need for the 16 GB model. Unless you plan on never taking video, pictures, having apps, or having music, 16 GB is laughable. We can agree that the 64 GB model is the sane choice for most people. And I don’t know about you, but I would never buy a phone on a contract. Contracts are stupidly expensive. I get by on a hacked $20 a month prepaid plan with unlimited voice, text, and data. That’s a post for another day. But in any case, we are looking to purchase unlocked iPhones at full price.
Let’s chose the iPhone 6 Plus because we are gluttonous consumer drones. And let’s say we are faint of heart and want AppleCare. Ok. Throw in another $88 ($79+taxes). Oh, and throw in a case for your brand new precious for maybe around $40. Let’s see, what does this all work out to?
OPPORTUNITY COST ALTERNATIVES
Holy pig on a stick, what else can we do with $1228?!
1) Buy 11 shares of AAPL – Hey look, you can just own shares of the company selling the iPhone 6 and get rich off all the
suckers consumers buying Apple’s “ overpriced premium priced” products! And look, they pay a 1.86% dividend to boot!
2) Buy 8 shares of BRK.B – I may be extremely biased on this one, it’s my favourite stock.
3) Buy 47 shares of VXC – Why own an iPhone when you can basically own all the biggest companies in the world outside of Canada? This one is for all the Canadian readers.
4) Buy 22 shares of VXUS – The VXC equivalent for the American readers.
What would $1228 grow to over 10, 20, 30, 40 and 50 year periods fully invested in the stock market? Using historical market average nominal returns of 10%, our iPhone 6 purchase could have turned into:
Holy $H** who knew cash today for an iPhone 6 was so valuable if invested and left to compound for 50 years!? My iPhone 4 isn’t looking too shabby anymore. Now, instead of throwing my money at Apple, I want to do this to my investment accounts:
Geesh, seriously. I want to take the money I have earmarked for the iPhone 6 purchase and just buy one of those 4 investment options I listed above.
CONSUMERISM AT ITS FINEST
So should you buy an iPhone 6? Well, that is up to you. But in my opinion, if your phone is still working fine, take a pass. At the least take a time out and think things through very methodically.
If you really need to get a new phone, why not a brand new Google Nexus 5 for under half the price?
I leave you with a clip from one of the best parodies of Apple and iPhones ever.
Are you being tempted by the new iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus? Have you already made your hedonistic purchase? What will you do when the next revolutionary iPhone comes out?
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